Bedtime Stories

Our Kenyan bed finally died. Do I hear a couple of concealed giggles ? Well it led a productive and bouncy life but it was always going to be the product of a technical college on the outskirts of Nairobi and creaked and groaned for years. The fact that it survived for a quarter of a century is not short of a miracle.
So as soon as I arrived I went in search of a bed. Found not king size but maharajah size beds, 7ft x 7ft ( you would seriously have to look for your partner in a bed like that )beds with leopard headrests, others with shiny red Formica sides and hidden lighting that came on when you lay on the bed. Beds with gold bits and extensions the sides of which you would never believe so when I found one that seemed modest and acceptable I placed an order immediately. There was an awful lot of measuring and re-measuring because here they do everything in feet and inches and I have just come from a decade of centimetres. The instructions were, like my needs, modest. Queen size please and one where I could find a mattress locally to match the new bed. "No problem ma'am" I was told.
The bed arrived and was too short for our current old European mattress. I was in Delhi so when I arrived back home they had set it all up and squeezed the current mattress willy nilly into the bed so that it looked like a tidal wave was about to emerge from the bottom of the bed. "Hmmm" I thought "oh well I will just have to buy the new mattress and all will be well." Meantime I untucked the bed from its prison and it flopped happily and a little heavily over the edge of the bed but believe me when my head hits the pillow it thinks little of the position of my feet.
So off I went this morning to buy a mattress. Took my measuring tape and did the needful through all the pillow talk of the various hangers on. Found one that I thought was acceptable and paid a deposit and asked for it to be delivered. Well I could have almost smiled this seemed like an easy straightforward operation.
As I was sitting at my computer a few hours later the doorbell went and this is my mattress arriving ! I was thrilled. The mali and the delivery boy helped take it into the bedroom and put it on my new bed and oh no oh no oh no it is too short.
We looked at each other in disbelief and the shop man was rung. I had to pay for "cartage" back to the shop and now I am waiting for another man to come and measure. Meantime old mattress lolling over edge seems strangely comforting and appealling.